I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
