at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
