thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...