every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
