I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize