I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
