K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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