if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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