I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize