I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize