Small penises have feelings too.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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