Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
