It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
