Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
