Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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