doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
