The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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