Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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