BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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