You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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