I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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