That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
