winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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