Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
