I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize