Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
