you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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