Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
