he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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