worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
