check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
