I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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