names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
