I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
