they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
