it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
