SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
