Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
