So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
