Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This is my gift to your gina
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
