Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
