I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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