Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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