Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
