I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
