Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
