I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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