She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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