you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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