fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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