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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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