Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
