I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
