It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
