We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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