Only a mothe r could love this liver
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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