From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
