So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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