we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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