u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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