Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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