The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
