It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
